What a Great Break!

Did you hear about the woman who, when told to have a nice trip, tripped over a suitcase and cut her eye the night before traveling to a conference on domestic violence? How embarassing that was! I wore huge, Jackie-O or Sophia Loren sunglasses for the whole conference because just telling the story on myself was such a pain in the neck. Now, of course, ten years later, I've topped that.



As an actress I've heard "break a leg" numerous times and thought nothing of it. But it all came back to haunt me on Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009 in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Crossing over a dog fence between the living room and the kitchen my right foot made it, but the toes of the left foot caught and I went down on all fours (proving again that I have many cat-like qualities) and broke the left femur from the knee up.



I lay there for many long minutes, with a bag of ice to hold the pain at bay and a blanket to stave off the shock, resting my legs on a beanbag chair and thinking about how to, or if it would be necessary to, go to the hospital. Then, I tried to roll over to get up, saw and felt the separating bone under the skin and muscle and called 911.



But this is a story of joy. I met caring, wonderful people in the hospital for three days. I had surgery that relieved my physical pain. I was released on Christmas Day in the evening and got a chance to spend time with my son and his family. Over the next week his family became my family, too. I was absorbed into the center of this group of awesome folks and, yes, there is more! I met a fabulous little nine and a half month old person who laughed for me and walked for me and fell asleep on me. I had a great chance to bond with Tenzin Gabriel Moe, my greatgrandson.



When I returned home to San Jose, I was surrounded with loving, helping friends. People brought me food, cleaned my house, fed my cat, washed my clothes. I was held in the hands of Source and comforted.



Yes, this broken leg taught me patience, gracious receiving and how to ask for help. I also can count the pearls of friends on my necklace of life. AND I have a new, interesting scar to tell a story about. What's bad? Nothing.

Not a Tweet, This One

My book, my baby [6 Books in Search of a Point] is on the virtual shelf at Amazon, and the next book is a birthing in my brain. Actually, there are several in this old brain now that I know I really did it. And I can do it again. And I will do it again, maybe several times.

I wonder if I'm the Grandma Moses of writing. It feels like I'm a late starter, but then I was out gathering experiences to be gleaned for these books -- non-fiction, fiction and more poetry.

Life feels new again. Recognizing the seventeen year old living in my heart who has waited for this moment to be let loose is like looking in the mirror and seeing your parents -- a big shock.

At least I've started writing anew.

Talk About Shooting Yourself in the Foot!!

You’re looking for a job. You update your resume and send it off. After you’ve emailed out about 50 copies, you notice that in your “public service position” – the most recent employment – you left out the “l” of the word public. Oops! Won’t get hired by any of those employers, now, will you?

Too often, job seekers will ask a friend to look at their resume, but the problem is that those elusive errors that slip right by us jump up and bite the HR professional in the nose. How about items on the skills list that are repeated, such as:
· Strong work ethic
· Attention to detail
· Team player
· Self motivated
· Attention to detail
This is just sad. Some human resources people will call regarding this resume and give a heads-up that something is wrong, but most won’t. They will just file it in the round file, and the applicant will never hear why.

There are people who have transposed numbers in their telephone or email. There are folks who have misrepresented themselves as working longer at a position, by error, because the year was mistyped. There are applicants who make a tiny error in their on-line application or resume to a big job bank, like www.bayareajobs.com or www.caljobs.com and will never get a hit from that place, because employers count errors in as part of the whole person.

Sure, looking for a job is a time of nervous energy taking the place of clear thinking, but when it comes to being judged by the document you submit, don’t let your stress get in the way of perfection. Hire the professional whose job is not only to write you well, present you well, but also to make sure that it is error-free. The money that you spend to get your resume written is an investment that will be returned by more interviews and an earlier hire date.

Salle Hayden ©2007

Chain of Changes

How quickly everything can change. One day you think that the sea is smooth and the sails are furled and less than a day later the sails are in tatters and the storm has passed over and you're trying to catch your breath.

The family grew the same day of the last post, and became oppressive because there was a terrible financial chasm growing between the debtors and the creditors, and I can only assume that the oppression was one of the reasons that the family of two that grew to five needed to shrink by one as of October 17. Isn't that strange? One month of growing darkness, squalls and eddies and now the sea has regained her calm, even if there is flotsam and jetsom to be pulled out and salvaged.

As life goes on, and I gather the crew for cleaning up and setting straight in the aftermath of this hurricane, I suppose that my heart is out there floating and will be recovered as part of the project. Today, it just is difficult to breathe at times, and I feel that catch at the back of my throat, but then I take the next right step and smile.

Random Thoughts

This past week has been just a quilt of phrases from songs, those running through my mind and those I've heard sung at me. More than once someone sang "Do You Know the Way to San Jose?" when I revealed where I came from. And I hummed, whistled and sang "By the Time I Get to Phoenix" more than once as well, sort of in self defense one time.

Watching co-dependence in action, and watching co-dependents using the tools we've learned about how to maintain boundaries and how to show respect for ourselves and others has been a real education.

I actually have been doing the homework assignment. It sort of surprises me, but maybe I am ready to go back to school. Maybe I know how to use and value the information this time.

Time to get on the plane soon. I must pack up the computer and get on my way.

Natural Fabrics and Hand Dyeing

Nancy Sun saw a television program that changed her life.

Nancy spent fourteen years in the high-tech industry. When she became the mom of twins, and decided to stay home with them, she had a lot of time to watch TV (Not!), but last year she did happen to catch a story about indigo -- a natural plant dye -- being used in a hand process, in central China. She traveled to the rural village where fabric is still being dyed this natural way and decided to start an internet store to import the fabrics. She designed some clothing and after contracting to have it made there, she opened her shop.

Only a little more than a year later Indigo Passion by Sun is taking off. These traditional styles fashioned of natural cotton or linen and dyed by hand in the same way it was done over 500 years ago are now available. I love the beautiful colors that are available and the idea of supporting hand-crafted products available right here at reasonable prices. You can see a partial catalog (the site is under construction as I write this) at www.indigopassion.com.

Please visit and say "Salle sent me."

The Importance of Food

My brothers became gourmet chefs, for their private consumption, because they missed the food. I became a gourmand consumer of vast quantities of everything, because I missed the food.

It was always only the food that brought us together -- good, sometimes great, food. I remember rolling pie dough with Daddy and icing cakes with Mom. I remember Mommy-made cookies and Daddy-made candy -- all kinds of candy -- at Christmas time to give for gifts, to ourselves mostly.

For instance, there was that Thanksgiving that we sat around the ten-foot diameter table that he built for the occasion, with 14 adults in a circle, and the 10 kids in the other room at card tables and TV trays. We started with hors d'ouevres of bits of things on crackers and hand-trimmed toast with wine. Then there were shrimp cocktails for the adults and tomato juice for the kids. Three bottles of wine accompanied the meal. There were two 20-lb turkeys and too many side dishes -- two kinds of stuffing, apple/raisin and chestnut; three kinds of cranberry sauce (two canned, one with berries and one jellied, and fresh chopped berries and oranges); hand-mashed potatoes made with cream and 1/2 a pound of butter with giblet gravy; candied yams with marshmallows melted brownly over the top; two green bean dishes (they had been picked one by one from the grocer's bin) with fresh mushrooms and slivered almonds (depending on the whims of the chef); corn coblets dripping in butter; a large mixed-greens salad with tomatoes, croutons and hand-shaken oil & vinegar dressing; a large dish of olives, three kind of pickles, carrot sticks, celery sticks, green onions, radishes and cucumber sticks; fresh rolls hand-punched and risen with real butter or margarine; and three kinds of pies for dessert -- pumpkin with fresh whipped cream, apple with cheddar cheese and cherry with ice cream,

And then, three hours later, after dinner, while the kids were running around in the twilight, the adults sat around the table and discussed politics, religion and other taboo subjects before running wet fingers around the rims of singing wine glasses and breaking into song and laughter.

This is why food is important. It brings people together.